


Shared suffering

by Felidae5



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Randomness, Sillyfic, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-10 06:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felidae5/pseuds/Felidae5
Summary: Tired of their constant fighting, the principal hands matters over to the school conselour. To teach them am lesson, Seto and Jou are being turned into...just..read for yourselves.





	1. Chapter 1

_Shared suffering_

l  
Harassment. That's what it was.  
Pure harassment.  
And today Jounouchi was having none of it.  
He had been in a rotten mood to begin with; his father having woken him in the dead of night in a drunken stupor and attempting to beat the hell out of him just for the sake of it.  
Luckily, the alcohol had proven too much and he had passed out on the living room floor.  
Then this morning his neighbour had given him beef for the noise.  
And then his bycicle had sported a flat tire, forcing him to run to school.  
Needless to say, he was seething, and even his friends were wise enough to keep their mouths shut.  
Enter Kaiba Seto.

It was a wonderful day, the young CEO mused.  
His monthly revenue had made investors weep in joy, Mokuba had passed his entrance exams into middle school with flying colours, his custom built Maserati MC-63 would arrive this afternoon...  
Life truly was brilliant.  
And there stood his favourite chewtoy, all ready for its daily bashing.

It..didn't go well.  
Unlike normal, the blond's friends had been reluctant to hold the other teen down, which had ended with Jou sporting a busted lip, Kaiba a black eye, swollen cheek and several bruises and a visit for the both of them to the principal.  
Who was fed-up with their constant squabbling and fighting and asigned them to a trip to the school therapist.  
Either that, or being forced to hold hands during lunch break on the school's front yard.+

Abe Yuina was not a happy person.  
For the past forty-eight minutes she had been lecturing, consoling, interrogating, negotiating and chastitizing the two boys and just about had it.  
Slamming her fist on her desk, making the two teens shut up their quarreling, she smiled in a sickeningly sweet tone,  
"Well, seeing as to how this is getting us nowhere, I will have to resort to drastic measures."  
Jou frowned, Kaiba tilted a brow. What was she talking about?  
Rising, the plump woman stalked over to a cupboard and begann rumaging through it, muttering odd words under her breath. Jou and Kaiba glanced at each other; this couldn't bode well.  
Finally, Abe-sensei rose and returned to her desk, a small box in hands. From this she withdrew two caligraphy sets with purple ink stones and a small bottle containing a clear, green liquid.  
Setting up the sets before the students, she drizzled some of the green liquid into both ink dishes, then added each a sheet of parchment paper(Kaiba had to supress a smirk) and a black, iron cast Koro° in the centre.  
Again, looks were exchanged, this time concerned ones.  
Did the therapist need a therapist?  
Abe-sensei motioned for them to sit down and explained,  
"Now, I want both of you to write down in exact detail what you find wrong, repulsive, annoying or downright inacceptable about the other. Then you fold the letters seven times and hand it to the other one. Don't read it, just stick it into the Koro and light it. Also, I will need for each of you to add a strand of hair into the fire."  
Now the looks turned decidedly unsettled. Should they go along with the plan of this madwoman or make a hasty retreat? Abe-sensei rolled her eyes.  
"Boys, it's just one strand of hair. Besides, the door is locked."  
Jou gulped and Kaiba allowed a tiny sweatdrop to trickle down his temple. Better to just go along with the demand.  
Several minutes later, the pages were filled. While Kaiba's looked like a scripture from the Heian period, Jounouchi's resembled more a Kanji wallscroll done by a squirrel. Unceremoniously, they folded their papers up and exchanged them, then placed them in the Koro and each lit his on fire with a long, deep red match each. Abe-sensei looked at them.  
"The hair, please", she said, and they obliged. Nodding, the therapist then sprinkled some dried plants over the small fire. At the questioning looks, she merely smiled.  
"Don't worry, these are just herbs with calming properties. Passion flower, lavender, Dragon fruit..."  
The scent filled the room, making the two opponents' eyes tear.  
Without warning, Abe-sensei clapped her hands together and declared,  
"That's it! Now, I would advise the both of you to go home and tell your friends and relatives that you will be taking a two-weeks leave. And no, you can't back out of this. Trust me."  
The last part was spoken with such malice, such a devious, sinister grin, Jou and Kaiba decided to thank the obvious nutcase and ask her to release them.  
The therapist's grin widened.  
"The door was never locked."

As they walked down the corridor, Jounouchi stated,  
"Nyeh, that was pointless. Crazy and pointless."  
Kaiba nodded.  
"For once I absolutely agree with you. We should report her to the principal." Jou huffed.  
"And tell him what? That she made us write down our dislike for each other and burn the papers? While she added some dried herbs over it? Even if they believed us, what are they supposed to do about it?" The CEO scoffed.  
"There's still the safety hazard of an open fire in a non-designated room- even if it was merely a Koro."  
His frown deepened.  
"Plus, there is also the matter of our hair..." Jou waved him off.  
"Ne, that was just for show. Same as the door. A little psycho mumbo-jumbo to impress us, and we suckers fell for it. Just forget about it. The lady's a complete nutcase."  
Kaiba nodded vehemently  
"All the more reason to have her removed."  
Jounouchi merely shrugged nonchalantly.  
"Meh, how's that saying go? Every psychoanalyst is a little meschugge themselves."  
Kaiba couldn't argue with that.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
Is it Voodoo? Shinto magic? Arcane wizardry? All and none of the above? You decide. In the end, it doesn't really matter...

+I still find this one of the most stunning, effective and ingenious kinds of punishment. I am of course referring to this here:  
https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/11/principal-punishes-high-school-boys-with-public-hand-holding/

°Koro: censer used to burn incense, leves, flowers, perfumes etc.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well then..let the weirdness commence

ll

He hated mornings.  
Especially mornings when his body felt as if he were his own grandfather. Groaning, he rolled out of bed, then grasped for his clothes.   
Only, he couldn't grasp them.  
He had no fingers.  
There was his palm, sure, and his thumb, but no fingers.  
Or wrist.   
Or elbow.  
In fact, his arms were two straight tubes without any joints.  
Tubes made from felt.  
He drew a deep breath and screamed in utter horror.

"Ne, o-nii-san, are you doing home office today?" asked Mokuba, as he entered his ani's bedroom.  
There was no reply, so he walked over to the spacious bed. It was a mess, as always before Seto had showered, so Mokuba figured his brother was still in the bathroom. As he turned, he caught a glimpse of something from the corner of his eye. Looking closer, he smirked.  
Sometimes Seto was such a narcissist, he mused, when he picked up the plush doll made to look like his elder brother from between the sheets.  
And got the shock of his life when it started wiggling about.

Jounouchi senior woke up from his favourite spot on the floor beside the couch and groaned. Why did he even bother? Glancing about, he noticed the eerie quiet. He also noticed that his usual breakfast, a large glass of water with two Alka Seltzers and one tylenol pill set aside, was missing. Grunting, he worked his way into a standing position, then turned towards Katsuya's door.  
The kid was in for _such_ a beating this time.  
He swung the door open -and almost fell over since he forgot to release the door handle -and stumbled into the room.  
Strange. The sun stood high in the sky, the bed was empty, yet his school bag and uniform were still there. Anger rising, Jounouchi senior stomped over to the bed and pulled off the threadbare sheets.  
A felt doll with blond hair tumbled onto the matress.  
"The hell? Damn brat playing with dolls? Why, I'll wring the little faggot's neck.." he grumbled, as he made to pick up the plushie and throw it out the window.  
Three seconds later Jounouchi senior pledged to never ever _ever_ touch alcohol again, when the puppet blinked at him in sheer terror.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
*shakes head* I really need a better sleep schedule..oh, well, at least it makes for many a weird fic.^^


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get on with it, shall we

lll

Mokuba had wrapped chibi-Seto into a soft towel and sat him on the table. The CEO-turned-doll didn't look too happy, judging by its expression. Mokuba just stared at him.  
"So, you're really o-nii-san, ne?"  
The doll attempted to nod, then, realizing it had no neck, waved its tiny arms up and down twice. Mokuba frowned.  
"Any idea how this happened?" he asked.  
One wave.  
"Hmm, let's see, maybe you can write, even if you can't talk", mused the raven-haired boy, as he searched the desk drawers for pen and paper. Being successfull, he set the sheet in front of Seto and placed the pen in his hand.  
It fell, never mind how hard the brunet doll try to stretch its thumb. Finally Mokuba attached the pen with some scotch tape, and chibi-Seto attempted to scribble words.  
A seismographic reading during a 6.9 earthquake would have made for a good comparison.  
Removing the pen, Mokuba huffed,  
"Ja that didn't work out well."  
Seto frowned, then began blinking repeatedly in rapid succession. Mokuba gave him a worried look.  
"O-nii-san, are you having a stroke?"  
And jumped ten feet back, screeching,  
"Don't ever do that again! That's horrifying!" when chibi-Seto rolled its eyes.  
Seto pursed his lips and tilted a brow, which was equally eerie, since he possessed neither one nor the other.  
An idea came to him, and he pumped his arms up and down in rythmic patterns. At first Mokuba thought that his ani had finally snapped and was doing zumba, but then it hit him.  
"Morse code! Awesome, nii-san! Let me get my code book!"

He had wrapped him into one of the blond's t-shirts and was now seated at the kitchen table. Gazing suspiciously at the plushie, he grumbled,  
"Katsuya."  
The doll waved its arms, twice for yes, once for no.  
His father drove one brawny hand over his face.  
"And you can't think of anything that might have caused this?"  
Single wave. Brown eyes, sprinkled with green, narrowed.  
"It's nothing to do with that crazy Egyptian stuff, ne?"  
Jou tried shrugging his shoulders, then remember he had nothing that constituted as such, and settled for raising one arm instead.  
Jounouchi Mitsuro sighed.  
"So, you got no idea, ne?"  
One wave.  
"Maybe it was something you ate?"  
Again one raised arm as golden eyes gaped pleadingly up at him. More than a little unnerved, the elder Jounouchi snapped,  
"Stop staring at me like that! You look like one of those bloody plush kittens!"  
Well, that's the first time a doll gave him the 'duh' look...

If she was intrigued, she didn't show it.  
'Go buy clothes for an twenty-two centimetres tall plush doll. Here are the measurements', Mokuba-sama had said, and that's what she had done. What did she care, what her employer's newest kink was.  
Besides, after seeing the BEWD.._trinkets_ Kaiba-sama kept in his bedroom, the housemaid had just decided not to go pondering about things.  
Life was _so_ much better not knowing.

Yuugi-tachi, who had decided to check up on their friend, just stared blankly at the plushie.  
"Jou?" squieked Yuugi. The doll waved its right arm, sporting a part sheepish, part embarassed expression.  
"Any clue how that happened?" queried Honda. Both arms rose and fell.  
Anzu, stroking her chin, stated,  
"So, yesterday when you went to bed you were fine and this morning you woke up like this, ne."  
Yes.  
Sighing, the brunette girl said,  
"Too bad neither Ryou nor the Ishtars are around; they could tell us, what's going on."  
Yuugi gazed at his best friend/plushie.   
"Did anything out of the norm happen yesterday, Jounouchi-kun."  
There was a momentary hesitance, then two waves. Honda pushed Yuugi aside, shouting,  
"Well then spit it out already, man!"  
Jou gave him a half-lidded look and the brunet sweatdropped.  
"Yep, definetly Jou; I'd recognize that glare from a mile and a dozen."  
Anzu rolled her eyes, even as Yuugi facepalmed.  
"Well, by any means, he can't stay here," declared Jounouchi senior, as he pushed his son towards the blond's friends,   
"you take care of him." Everyone gaped at him in utter shock.  
"But-but why..us?" stuttered Honda. Mitsuro crossed his arms before his chest.  
"Simple. This weird shit always happens when Katsuya's around you, so you figure it out."  
Well, couldn't fault him for that logic.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
It's Jou's dad. Go with it.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a mini-chappie...

lV

"So, let me get this straight," Mokuba scanned the page before him,  
"your principal sent you to the school counselor, who did some weird letter-writing-burning stuff along with your hair and when you woke up this morning, you were like this."  
He gave an airy handmotion in Seto's direction.  
Who blinked twice, then frowned.  
Mokuba shot him another look.  
"And you say, Jounouchi was with you the entire time this happened, ne?"  
Two blinks and the black-maned preeteen shook his head.  
"Ja, guess there's only one thing we can do, ne?" he stated, as he picked up his ani, who now sported a customed made outfit somewhat resembling his usual attire.  
"We need to get down to Yuugi's and see, if he knows anything about it."  
For a plush doll, Seto did put up quite a fight.

"So?"  
"So."  
Yuugi-tachi were standing around the counter, staring at Jounouchi, who sat on the cold glass surface. They had stopped at a toy store on the way here, and now Jou was wearing black pants, a white tee and deep blue jacket. Not quite a perfect fit, but close enough.  
Yuugi drove a hand through his hair.  
"And of course this week oji-san is visiting with Professor Hopkins", he sighed. Anzu was about to open her mouth-  
Tingeling. "Kon-ichi wa, minna-san, daijoubu ka?" Mokuba burst in, duffle bag strapped to his shoulder.  
"Sorry for just dropping by unannounced, but I got a little problem and I thought you might help me."  
Yuugi-tachi gaped at him like a swarm of beached carps, even as the young boy came closer.  
He noticed chibi-Jou sitting on the counter and bent down to take a closer look.  
"Oh wow, so it's as I figured," he hushed, then poked the blond doll gently into the left side.  
Who scowled at him, none too happy.  
"Jounouchi, is that really you?"  
Again, he recoiled, when the plushie rolled its eyes. It was just too freaky to see a felt doll do that. Supressing his shiver, he stated,  
"Ja, I found Seto-nii-san in a similar state this morning and figured I'd bring him over, because I thought, you might help him."  
He opened the bag and carefully reached into it. Gently, he removed chibi-Seto from within and sat him in front of Jounouchi  
Immediaetly, a death glare match broke out.  
If they could have, they would have hissed at each other.  
"Oh, aren't they cute," cooed Anzu, as she bent down to look at the two rivals glowering at each other,   
"like two little kittens figthing."  
"Well, that settles it," cried Mokuba,  
"you take care of them!" The brunette shot him a befuddled look.  
"Watashi? But..why?"  
"Simple," butted Honda in, "if we guys walk around carrying plushies, it would look just..odd." 'Not to mention unmanly' he thought to himself.  
"But if a girl is seen with dolls, no one will think twice about it."  
Yuugi and Mokuba nodded in agreement.  
Anzu gaped at the three boys, then sneered,  
"Gods, you guys are so _sexist_..!"

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
This is approximately what I imagine the two plushies to look like, just with 'real' hair:  
https://www.deviantart.com/kinkaku/art/Plush-Set-Talia-Dolls-214397729  
https://www.deviantart.com/tatsuomizushima/art/Black-Veil-Brides-Plush-Dolls-282390988


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lengthy chapter, and you might want to turn off your brains at this point. Just saying.

V

There were certain advantages to being a plushie, Jounouchi decided.  
Like being pressed against a girl's bosom while being carried about. He neither minded boys or girls(though he tended towards his own gender), but it did feel nice.  
Seto on the other hand, was having none of it. He didn't like girls, he never had. They were soft and squishy and nosey and skittish and constantly nattering away..ugh.  
Which is why he sat in the duffle bag while Jou was outside, sightseeing.  
That, and also because if being left alone for even one second, the two spellbound teens were at each other's throats -as it were.  
As cute and downright ridiculous it looked having two pint-sized plushies dukeing it out, it was still rather bothersome.  
So much though, that Anzu decided she could not leave the boys home alone, but would have to take them along to school.  
Now from what Mokuba had told them Seto had morsed him(it still gave her a headache, thinking about it) and had been confirmed by Jounouchi, they would remain like this for another two weeks.  
Of course Anzu had protested and insisted that either her friends were to look after them three days each, or she would spell their darkest secrets.  
Something about the way she had said that had convinced them that Anzu had been a youkai° in a former life and hastily agreed.  
So she would take care of them the first three days, setting up the basic rules, then hand them over to Honda, who would try to keep them from killing each other, then to Yuugi, by which time Sugoroku-san would hopefully have returned and was able to help and finally at the Kaiba mansion, where Mokuba could keep an eye on them.  
If they hadn't torn each other to shreds by then.

Humming, Anzu rummaged through her attic. She knew she had a puppet bed here somewhere, for whenever her little nieces came to play. Finally retrieving it from its hiding place, she decided to remove the worn-out matress and replace it with a thickly folded bedsheet. She only hoped Seto would settle for satin; she sure as hell would not go out and buy anything silken.  
As she got to her bedroom where she had left Jounouchi, separated fom Seto whom she had sat on the couch, she found the door ajar. Frowing, she walked in-  
"Stop it this very minute!" she screeched, when she saw the two dolls standing on her desk, pointing scissors, respectively a cutter, at each other.  
Obviously they had mastered the skill of holding objects and were now using their power for the bad.  
"Drop your weapons, NOW!" bellowed Anzu, and the two startled plushies followed her order. Placing her hand on her hips, the girl declared,  
"Ok, let's set some ground rules. First and foremost, no dangerous objects of any kind, and I do mean _ever_!"  
She could have sworn they both pouted at that.  
"Second: no wreaking havoc in or around the house. I don't wanna pay for any damages you caused, whatsoever."  
Both dolls looked decidedly bored.  
"Third: no scareing or terrorizing anyone or anything, and that includes pets and plants!"  
Seto smirked, Jou appeared puzzled.  
"Fourth: no murdering each other in your sleep, because you'll be sharing the same bed."  
Blank stares, then chibi-Jou fell over backwards.

The bed was quite comfortable, even Seto had to admit.  
Currently, the two plushies were sitting in the wicker bed, looking through puppet clothes for things to wear. Amazingly, or maybe due to the fact they had entirely different taste in clothes, they were not fighting for once.  
Delighted, Anzu smiled at the two. If they were tranquil like this, they were absolutely adorable. She took the clothes they handed her to be washed later and cheered,  
"See how much easier things go if you don't try to kill each other?"  
Twin mute sighs, and the brunette decided to take that as an assent.  
"Hmm, now for names" mused Anzu. The plushies exchanged looks.  
The hell?  
"I know!" exclaimed the brunette, "I'll call you Jou-fluff and Seto-fluff. Because your hair is so fluffy."  
To emphasize her point, she ruffled both of the doll's manes. Double death glares barelled into her, but she had already turned her back, oblivious to the fact that she had just signed her own death sentence.  
Blue met amber in a silent pact; once they were back to normal, Anzu would die.

"So you don't need food or drinks, ne?" she asked.  
No.  
Anzu put a finger to her lips.  
"Hmm, that solves one problem.Of course you still got to entertain yourselves. We got cable and Netflix, so there's that..." Jou-fluff's eyes lit up at that,  
"and also a library. Maybe you'll even find something you havent read yet, Seto-fluff. Or something you'd like rereading very much", she added hastily at the 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-look' she received. Clearin her throat, she continued,  
"Since you're perfectly mobile, that reduces the need of having to be carried around. Just be carefull on the stairs, so you won't fall down," she shot them a warning glare,  
"or push each other down, that is."  
Now _there_ were expressions which radiated pure, poorly faked innocence. Huffing, Anzu rubbed one tired hand over her eyes and said,  
"As I said, try to avoid people. I you can't, play dead and let them carry you wherever you're out of sight and-“  
Anzu glanced at the two plushies, then did a double-take and stared at Jou-fluff.  
Jou, who's right side seams had come undone and was now spilling stuffing from an inch-long gap.  
Jou, who sported a teary, sad expression on his silk face.  
„Oh my gods, Jou! You're bleeding!“ cried Anzu, as she held Jou up in both hands for closer inspection. Holding him against her shoulder for comfort, Anzu picked up the smirking Seto-fluff by its collar and growled,  
„I told you to play nice, Seto. One more trick like this and it's the dry cleaner for you, smarty-pants!“  
That worked. Blue felt button eyes widened, even as the silk face turned the colour of the coat. Dropping Seto unceremoniously back on the couch, Anzu cooed at the distraught Jou plushie, vowing to make it all better.  
Seto-fluff decided to hide the seam cutter within the folds of the couch...

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
*cackles madly° If you think they're being assholes now, you ain't seen nothing yet...


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seto is getting creepy and creeped out and this just keeps getting more random

Vl

Jou-fluff jerked awake, when he felt something soft yet firm rub against his ass. Trying to get up, he found himself pinned to the matress by a none too grand weight.  
Hairs tickled his face, as he tried to twist around and then he realized, that it was Seto-fluff.  
Seto-fluff,who lay atop of him, grinding as if his life depended on it.  
Jou bucked, flailed and shuffled, managing to push Seto off him. Glowering at his rival, he scooted as far away as possible.  
Seto-fluff merely smirked.  
Jou-fluff got up and walked over to where Anzu's bed stood, then pulled at the sheets.  
"Mni?" asked the sleepy girl, woken from her slumber. Dazedly, she looked down at Jou who was looking up at her with pleading eyes, then mumbled,  
"Sure y' can sleep 'n my bed, Jounouchi. C'me here."  
She picked the blond up, squeezed him against her chest and draped the sheets back over her, falling asleep instantly.  
Seto spent the rest of the night alone in the doll bed, fuming.

Seto was still sulking, the next morning.  
Jounouchi, looking well-rested and refreshed, shot him a glance. When the CEO-turned-plushie returned it, he stuck his tongue out at him. Which was quite a feet, seeing as he had none. Seto-fluff was just about ready to clobber-  
"Ja, minna-san, let's go. School's starting in forty minutes, and we still gotta check in with the others."  
It took a moment for the statement to register, but then twin looks of horrified despair appeared on the soft faces.

"Oh aren't they just kawaiiiiiiiii!" squealed one of the girls surrounding her desk.  
Third period, and by now Jou-fluff was getting tired of this. The second the other pupils had discovered both him and Seto, the entire female student's body of Domino High had flocked around them and begun to pet, pat, touch and cuddle them, taking rounds on the poor possessed boys.  
By now Jounouchi was certain he knew every single girl's cup size by heart, and while it had been thrilling a first, he was done being suffocated every other minute. Still, compared to Seto...  
The brunet was about to have an allergic reaction.  
Or a stroke.  
Or an anaphylactic shock.  
There were just boobs and boobs and boobs everywhere. Never mind where he turned, small slender hands grabbed and pulled at him, fought over and squashed him between their terrifying mounds.  
He longed to be ten years again; chained to his desk as he crunched vocables and formulas..the bliss of being kept awake by the sharp blows of a whip...heaven.  
"Ok, folks, that's enough!" shouted Honda, as he saved Seto-fluff from yet another girl's clutches,  
"you're going to wrec them! Back off!"  
He squeezed Seto against his chest, face first, and twin streams of reprieve and gratitude streaked down the plushie's cheeks. Finally, a real man; hard, well-defined pectoral muscles, a bulging biceps, the strong masculine scent of sweat and testosterone and musk...  
Seto-fluff decided, that this was as good a moment as any to die.  
Anzu meanwhile had managed to wrestle Jou-fluff free, much to the dismay of the volleyball team captain's hands. Who pouted and then waved good-bye at Jounouchi.  
It took all he had not to roll his eyes at that.

"Rejected", stated Abe-sensei, boredly resting her head on her palm.  
All assembled teens, including the plushies, stared at her, flabberghasted.  
"But-but-" stuttered Yuugi, but the therapist merely shook her head.  
"Even if I could, I wouldn't remove the hex. They need to learn to get along, first. It's all up to them."  
"But..it's only the second day, and they're both miserable" said Honda. Then added,   
"Well, at least Jounouchi is."  
If he could have, Seto would have turned up his nose at that. Instead, he settled for his infamous glare. Which had zero to no effect on the therapist.  
"You either learn your lesson, or you'll repeat the cicle over and over again until you die", she stated matter-of-factly.  
Yuugi-tachi wondered collectively, how someone this _evil_ could have slipped under the school board's radar.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
Wonder what they'd think about the one who wrote this...


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeeeeeeeeirdness ahoi..

Vll

Yuugi-tachi had woven quite an intricate web of lies, red herrings and false truths regarding the two rivals' disappearances.  
Anzu had explained that they were fan-made prototypes and that they were to guard them until either one of the guys returned. And everybody just went with it, strangely enough.  
Seto and Jou were currently sitting on the windowsill, gazing outside, a makeshift pillow propping them up while keeping them out of sight. This way they could listen to the happenings, flex and stretch their limbs and faces without anyone spotting them.  
Currently, Jou-fluff had seized the opportunity to take a nap and was dozing peacefully. Seto-fluff however, was still too wound up.  
His entire felt body bristled at the memory of all the girls'..assets he had been forced to make contact with. The only saving grace had been Honda's muscular build, but now even that effect was dwindling.  
He glanced over his non-existent shoulder at Jou, who was sleeping undisturbed, and a strange glint appeared in his eyes.

Jou-fluff lay perfectly still.  
If he didn't move, maybe Seto-fluff wouldn't find him.  
Seto-fluff, who had obviously taken a liking to him -or at least his plush body. Which weirded the blond out to no extent; why had the plush-CEO developped this sudden interest in him?  
Usually he would only give Jounouchi the time of day to make him miserable, but now this..molestation was beyond creepy.  
Maybe the brunet had a felt fetish?   
Jou shuddered.  
He'd rather not think about Seto's kinks.

Anzu was busy reading herself for school, when Jounouchi appeared out of nowhere.  
"Jou-fluff, where have you been last night? I looked all over for you, but couldn't find you! I was worried my mom had found you and taken you to her room! Are you okay?"  
Jou could have told her that he had spent the night at the bottom of her panties drawer, but why give away such a brilliant hiding place?  
Seto took in the blond's tired, disshelved appearance and frowned.  
There were other ways to get his fix.

"Aww, this is super-cute!" exclaimed one of their classmates.  
"Who arranged them this way?"  
No one had, naturally, but Seto-fluff had managed to coax the exhausted Jou-fluff's head onto his lap while this one was asleep.  
To the others it looked as if he, Seto, were guarding Jou's sleep, when in real he was fondling the blond any chance he got.  
Luckily, they were anatomically incorrect; there would have been _some_ things even the dullest person would have noticed.

"Ja, minna-san, it was fun to have you over, but I think it's good you're heading to Honda's now, ne", beamed Anzu, and the two plushies agreed. Leaning forward, the brunette added,  
"And be nice to each other, you hear? Or else..."  
Something about the way she smiled was so _disturbing_, it would have made the Cheshire Cat nervous. Looking up, she adressed Honda,  
"Should I bring the doll bed over, or do you have some kind of sleeping spot for them?"  
Honda shrugged.  
"Nah, not really. I figured I'd just bunk them together with my cat."  
Both plushies jerked around, giving Honda a set of rather scandalized looks. Who sweatdropped and muttered,  
"Perhaps the doll bed _would_ be a good idea..."

Chieko, Honda's cat, did not like them.  
Not one bit.  
She sniffed hesitantly at each of them, then backed away, slowly. And ran off. Not to be seen for the next five days.  
Honda sighed, then placed the doll bed including plushies in his room. Immediatly, Seto's expression lifted; finally away from all the perfume and lace and pink and frill-  
"Ne, minna-san, make yourselves at home! Just don't wrec anything", yelled Honda, as he took off his boxers and threw them in the general direction of his hamper, before snatching a towel and tying it around his waist, giving the plushies an eyeful.  
"I'm under the shower, so behave!" the stocky brunet called over his shoulder as he marched out the door.  
Seto-fluff gazed after him, a dreamy look on his features. Jou-fluff, resting his arm, respectively elbow, on the wicker rim of the bed, regarded his rival for a moment, then handed him a tissue.  
Blood and felt don't mix.

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Now, I do _not_ have a plushie fetish...a few others, yes, but not plushies.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upping the ante

Vlll

Honda Hiroto was rather surprised the next morning, when he awoke with Seto-fluff cuddled up against him. For a moment he wondered, then chuckled.  
"Lemme guess, Jounouchi had his 'Falling' dream again, ne? Fine, you can sleep in my bed, just don't sue me if I accidentaly crush you in my sleep."  
He could have sworn Seto-fluff shuddered delightfully at that.

"You know, if they were like this all the time, they would make for a really cute couple", stated one of the DuelMonsters fangirls. Yuugi-tachi sweatdropped; because that would turn out so well.  
Seto-fluff had decided to use his meditating techniques to send his mind to a less irritating zone and Jounouchi decided to play dead and just sleep the day away.  
He would need to be on his toes in case Seto was planning something again, tonight.

"Whoever invented math, obviously hated people", groused Honda, as he slaved over his homework. Driving a hand through his hair and rearranging it reflexively, he chewed on the bottom of his pen, when something struck him.  
Where were Jou and Seto? Last he had seen them, Jou was busy scribbling doodles on a sheet of paper while Seto boredly flipped through a tome about the universe being nuts or something.  
The brunet listened intently, but couldn't hear anything.Given that the two plushies were mute, it still worried him. Oh well, as long as there were no crashing or breaking sounds he assumed, all was fine. Now for history -hadn't they covered the Manchurian wars already?  
Honda rose his head at the smell of something burning. Following the scent, he rounded the corner into the kitchen...  
Seto's coat was on fire! The brunet doll was racing through the room, Jou hot on his heels, holding a lighter and a candle. Reacting without thinking, Honda snatched up Seto-fluff, held him under the faucet and turned the water on full-blast.  
The flames died out immediatley, and Honda reached for a kitchen towel, wrapping it around the completely drenched brunet plushie. Swerving around, he shouted at Jou-fluff,  
"Are you fucking _high_?!? What kind of sick fuck are you, setting Kaiba on fire? You could have killed him and burned the whole house down! Did they replace that chicken-shit brain of yours with fibrefill, too?"  
Jounouchi, attempting to hide candle and lighter behind his back, ducked his head as far as it would go. Honda, patting down the distraught Seto, snarled,  
"That's it. You're spending the rest of your time here in the garage."  
Jou flopped to the ground. He would never get those grease stains out of his felt.

Luckily, the damage was minor, and come evening, Seto's coat was as good as new.  
Currently, the plushie was sitting on Honda's desk, helping this one with his homework.  
Pleased to have such a good tutour, the stocky brunet finished his algebra assignment with ease. Closing the book, he gazed at Seto-fluff and smiled,  
"Ya know, maybe you're not such a bad guy after all. If you could just see the good in Jounouchi.."He trailed off when Seto shot him a level gaze.  
"Shutting up", he croaked.

Jou-fluff felt lonely and abandoned.  
Sitting on a pile of oily rugs, he let every song about loneliness he knew run through his mind.  
He really only had tried to defend himself. Given, setting fire to Seto's coat was a bit extreme, but how else could he make the brunet stop his nightly sexual advances?  
Even if he had been able to communicate and make Honda understand, no doubt his oldest friend would have waved it off as the blond jumping at shadows.  
Who would believe that the great Kaiba Seto had the hots for poor Jounouchi Katsuya?  
Yawning, Jou-fluff settled for the night.  
At least in here he was safe from Seto's groping.

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I told you they were assholes! Didn't I tell you they were assholes? I told you they were assholes.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Muutous are not really nice people...

lX

Seto had to admit, Jounouchi was quite good at playing dead doll.  
After having chewed out Honda for the grease and oil spots on Jou's clothes and face, the entire needleworks club joined forces to restore the blond plushie to his former look.  
Some made it better, some made it worse, but in the end, Jou-fluff was back to normal again -well, mostly. There was still that faint line of rubber residue which ran down his cheek like a scar.  
Which in turn made him all the more popular.

If he could have, he would have snored.  
This way he just lay there, passed out, completely exhausted, and slept like a stone.  
Seto watched him, cautiously rubbing up against the blond, then placed one hand on Jou's forehead. For a moment, there was an almost pensive look on his features, then he huddled closer, wrapped his arms around Jounouchi and closed his eyes.  
Honda, who had watched the happening from the safety of his bed, smiled knowingly.

"You sure?"  
"Positive."  
"Hm. Good to know. Arigatou, ne."  
"Anytime."  
Yuugi took the wicker bed from Honda and walked back to the game shop. Fortunately, Sugoroku-san had returned one day early and was now studying the two plushies sitting on the counter, poking each other.  
"Hmm, interesting," the old man mused, "I've never seen anything like this before."  
Yuugi's face fell, even as Seto gave Jou a hearty blow over the head.  
"And she said, she couldn't remove the spell unless they get along?" he queried, even as Jounouchi retaliated by stabbing Seto in the eye with his felt thumb.  
Yuugi shook his head.  
"No, and you see how much progress they've made. Or not."  
Sugoroku scratched his beard.  
"Hmm, I can see this being a predicament..boys, if you could please..boys, if you might-KNOCK IT OFF!"  
The plushies paused at the unexpected roar, even as Yuugi picked his jaw from the floor. Clearing his throat, the old man continued,  
"Now, from what I've seen and heard, this is clearly a self-sustaining curse. Meaning, it feeds directly off the negative emotions you have for each other. The more you hate and hurt each other, the more the spell manifests itself. Actually," he frowned ominously,  
"I would not be surprised if, after the twelve days are over, you would find yourselves permanently stuck in this form."  
And that's how you shock-freeze a plushie.

Muutou Sugoroku stared at his grandson.  
"And Honda is absolutely sure about this?" he rasped. Yuugi nodded, his eyes darting to where Seto and Jou were still sitting slumped in a daze.  
The older Muutou leaned back in his chair, stroking his beard.  
"Jaaa, I think I can work with that..." A mischievous grin appeared on his faded features.  
"Hayaku, we'll need Anzu and Mokuba on this, too!"

Seto awoke to someone gently shaking him. Disgruntled, he rose into a sitting position and stared into Yuugi's beaming face.  
Great.  
As if the day weren't shitty enough without coffee(actually, his plush body didn't need caffeine, so now he couldn't even give that as an excuse).  
"Ohayou gozaimasu, minna-san," cheered Yuugi, making Seto-fluff really really miss his SigSauer 9mm,  
"I'm heading off to school. Thankfully, oji-san will be here all day, so you won't have to tag along. This way, you'll be safe from your hordes of fangirls."  
Seto breathed a sigh of relief; thank heavens for small mercies.  
"However," he stiffened when Yuugi rose an index finger, "we assigned you a couple of tasks to help around the house."  
"Actually, it's more of a challenge", stated Sugoroku, who had just entered the room. Jounouchi, being awoken by the noise, blinked owlishly at the two Muutous. Each picked up one of the dolls and set them on Yuugi's desk.  
By now, Jou-fluff was fully awake and more than slightly confused. Sugoroku puffed out his chest.  
"The challenge is, which one of you is the better doll? To find out, we assigned both of you everyday tasks of a married couple, making _you_ the wifey."  
He pointed at Seto, who recoiled, then shot lightning daggers at the two humans. The brunet sensed Jou laughing at him, and he turned, his skirt flaring as he pulled up to smack-  
Wait, what?  
Seto-fluff gazed down at himself -and almost burst his stitches screaming in terror. A pink, long-skirted meido uniform complete with apron and laces clung to him. Instinctively, he reached for his hair and relaxed just a fraction when he detected no kind of ornament or headgear.  
"And you, dear Jounouchi-kun, will be her trusty husband, the rice farmer."  
Jou-fluff paused his guffaws, when Sugoroku placed something on his head which matted down his blond mane. Grabbing the item, he realized he was sporting a rice straw hat. He gulped, then risked a peek at his attire-  
Oh gods, had they raided san antiques toy shop? These clothes made him look like some peasent from an Edo period drama.  
Jou could actually feel Seto's condescending smirk and decided to take vengence.  
He turned to glare at the grinning Seto-fluff, then pointed at him and, making a fist, 'showed' him his pinkie.  
The collective jawdrop was soooo satisfying.

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Last I checked, showing the pinky along with a certain handmotion has the meaning of 'seeing' your girlfriend, respectively lover. Yep, that's a thing.


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, a long read and a last bout of awkward weirdness -enjoy.

X

Anzu and Honda hollered with laughter. Yuugi snickered.  
"According to oji-san, at one point Jounouchi-kun actually flipped up Seto-kun's skirt, then hid in the attic. Since he was supposed to dust up there, it didn't really matter. Though Seto-kun is apparently stil fuming."  
"Stop, stop, onegai, I'm gonna die here!" croaked Honda, holding his sides. Anzu wiped away her tears, giggling.  
"Sheesh, oji-san can be so mean sometimes. So, what else do you have in store for them?"  
There was a moment's silence, and when the two brunets gazed at Yuugi, they felt a shiver run down their spines.  
The King of Games sat there, a contemplative, serene smile on his face that simply oozed deviousness.  
"Fullfilling their matrimonial duties."

Sporting his usual night wear, Seto-fluff lay there on the bed, smiling seductively. Patting the matress next to him invitingly, he leered at his husband-of-sorts to hop in.  
Who gulped in utter trepidation, plush legs trembling as he inched his way towards his doom. Yuugi coaxed him gently closer, smiling,  
"Come on, Jou, it's not gonna be that bad. Remember you don't have any ermh, body parts that..I mean, you know.." He blushed and Jou-fluff facepalmed.  
Taking a deep breath he stalked over to their bed and climbed in, trying to settle down.  
Seto was on him in the blink of an eye, drawing the sheet over their heads to block them from view and instantly the shuffling and flailing began.  
Yuugi sweatdropped, then picked the basket up and set it outside in the hallway. Nothing could make him listen to the rustling and shifting of cloth the whole night through.

The next morning,Jou-fluff looked positively broken. His glassy stare never took notice of anything, while all around him people moved and worked.  
Seto-fluff on the other hand preened himself, working off his tasks with a gusto, every now and then going over to the shattered blond and patting his head affectionately.  
Life was truly wonderful.

That evening, having done both his own as well as Jounouchi's chores, Seto cuddled up to the semi-catatonic blond and fell asleep almost instantly.  
A heavy sigh escaped the blond, then looked at the brunet doll. In the dim-lit hallway he had to adit that Seto-fluff looked actually almost cute, curled up and tranquil as an exhausted kitten.   
Once more, Jou-fluff sighed. Maybe they could work something out.

Day ten and Seto-fluff awoke feeling like death warmed over.  
Not used to do household chores, the double work he had done the previous day now made itself known.  
Jou-fluff looked at him, then patted the brunet's head and went about his day. Occasionally, he would drop by, fluff up the pillows or shake out the blanket, but otherwise, he made himself scarce.  
Come evening, Mokuba showed up and sniggered at their outfits. He then thanked the Muutous for their help and had themselves been driven home, sans basket.

Seto-fluff was happy to be in his own home and his own bed. Standing on the expensive comforter, he began jumping up and down, relishing in the comforting feel.  
Jou-fluff watched him tiredly, and Seto reached out a hand, inviting to join him. Reluctantly, the blond did as told, and in no time at all, the teens-turned-plushies were putting the makeshift trampolin to full use.  
Mokuba walked in, folded his arms over his chest and asked dryly,  
"Aren't you guys a little too old for this?"  
Finally, he managed to coax the two dolls into their pyjamas of sorts and sent them to bed(hey, he would seize any opportunity to do that).  
When he was gone, Seto-fluff softly placed one hand on Jou-fluff's face, smiling gently. Then he keeled over and was out like a light.  
Jou blinked in confusion, then decided to follow his lead.

Kaiba Manor was gigantic.  
Three steps out of Seto's bedroom and Jounouchi was lost. When Isono finally found him, he played possum and let himself be carried back to Seto's room. Only that he found himself on Mokuba's bed and had to start the trek all over again.  
At the forth try he found himself in Seto's office, the brunet trying to draw up a contract. Sadly enough, typing was quite a task, so he urged Jounouchi to help him.  
Some forty minutes later and completely beat, the file was ready to print. Seto glanced at the watch; normally he would work out something ike this in under ten minutes and now... He was certain that without Jou's help, he would have spent the entirety of the day on that one single agreement.  
He padded over to where the blond lay wheezing and cuddled up to him, deciding that a nap was quite in order.

Mokuba gave a cheeky grin.  
"Told ya so!" he snarked as Jou-fluff and Seto-fluff shot him evil glares. Despite joining forces, they had lost every single game they had played against the younger Kaiba.  
Who now stretched and yawned,  
"Ja, dunno about you, but I'm heading for bed. Don't stay up late", he winked and sauntered out the door.  
His opponents looked at his retreating back, each other, then back at the half-opened door.   
Great.  
Seto rolled his eyes and Jou groaned.  
It would take them forever to climb the large stairs.

Finally, they dropped into bed. Minutes passed, during wich the plusies merely laid there, trying to regain some strength, then Seto-fluff rolled over on his side and sat up. Jou-fluff mirorred him, and they stayed like this, kneeling, gazing into each other's eyes. Jounouchi asked a silent question, and Seto answered with a soft smile. Gently, he cupped the blond's face and anxiously pressed his mouth on Jou's. And this time, Jou returned the kiss.  
Tentatively, slowly, they let their lips meet again and again, their tongues shyly touching, exploring. Seto wrapped his large hands around Jounouchi's broad shoulders as their kisses deepened, low moans escaping.  
Jou drove his hands over Seto's chest, played with the shirt's hem and pushed it out of the way to caress the pale soft skin underneath...  
Realization trickled in. Both blinked at each other, then Jou rasped,  
"We-we're back? But how?" Seto inspected their bodies and argued,  
"I guess our..falling in love has a lot to do with it." Jounouchi frowned.  
"That doesn't make sense. It's only the eleventh day."  
Seto snorted. "Does it really matter?" Jou closed his eyes and smirked.  
"Not really, I guess."  
Keeled over and was fast asleep, before his head hit the pillow.  
Seto contemplated for a moment and then his brain shut down, mid-thought.

Domino High collectively gaped the next morning, when Seto and Jou and came walking in through the gate, side by side, smiling.   
To everyone who asked, they gave the same enigmatic reply,  
"Therapy."  
And again, everybody just accepted it.

Abe Yuina opened and closed her mouth several times, her eyes wide as saucers. Finally, she regained her voice and, slumping into her chair, buried her face in her hands.  
Yuugi-tachi, once more complete, gave her worried looks. Abe-sensei's head shot up, face pale as a sheet as she stared at Jou and Seto.  
"You were supposed to learn to get along with each other, not fall in love!" she gasped.   
"Now I'm afraid you will have to stay together for the rest of your lifes."  
Jounouchi blanched and Seto smirked. Jou caught the expression out of the corner of his eye and rounded in on the CEO.  
"You knew it! You knew it all along!" he shouted. Seto merely shrugged.  
"I kind of figured it out", he confessed.  
Jou was fuming, when something struck him.  
A grin, so dripping with satisfaction, mockery and triumph it made everybody present recoil, spread across his face when he leaned towards the brunet and purred,  
"Wifey."

_owari_

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It's ok, you can open your eyes again. Thanks for sticking by, reading and commenting; it always gives me pleasure to freak you out.^^


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